You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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