I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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