I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
this will be a night to untag.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
