we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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