Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
