Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
