i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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