I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize
