oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
