I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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