It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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