what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Semen is not good for contacts.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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