ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
