Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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