help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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