I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
