The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I need to align my fucking chakras
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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