We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
