your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
