I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
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