i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
