Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The uberlube is also flammable
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
