God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The adults are the big ones right?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
