My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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