His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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