dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
