i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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