Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
