ugly people sure do ruin things
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just had sex on a roof
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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