I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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