oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
