we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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