I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
