I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
