im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
