____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
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