Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
My vagina just recognized that song.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
