Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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