Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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