we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
