i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
