We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize