Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
