sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
