Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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