Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
