I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
