I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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