It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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