Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
