hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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