am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
