the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
The power of my boobs compel you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize