You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
