FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize