one two three fourrrrnication!
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
