can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
