I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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