He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
