who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
