It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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