Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
