yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
